Wednesday 25 April 2018

The Return of Chip Spud & Tasha Stripov

                                                Nickel & Dime Productions
                                                              Presents
                                                    The Lost Twin Case

Things hadn't been going to well of late for P.I. Chip Spud, instead of getting the 50 bucks a day he likes to work for he's had to settle for 60 of late & without her Russian Vodka & Cuban Cigars Tasha could be hell to live with.
However at 11am yesterday all that changed, it was a wet & windy morning with the rain driving against the office window, pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter & once more pitter patter.
Chip" Tasha will you stop making that awful pitter patter sound & go answer the door"
Without replying she looked at him & if looks could kill the guys down at the 19th Precinct would have had a new homicide to investigate, before getting up & going to open the door.
And there she stood you know that kind of woman, legs full of varicose veins, breasts sagging down to her bellybutton & a face with great big moles that had hairs grown out of them, Chip reckoned it wasn't from age that she was ugly as she couldn't have been much more then forty, no he guessed she was the kind of baby that made the Doctor punch the mother's face instead of smacking the babies bottom.
Woman" Is this the office of P.I. Chip Spud ?"
Tasha"That's what it says on the door lady & that poor excuse for a man over there is him"
Crossing the office with all the grace of a hippo on an ice rink she came to a stop at Chip's desk.
Woman" Mr Spud"
Chip"Please call me Chip & won't you take a seat ?"
Woman"No thank you I have many of my own, Chip my name is Amber Fields & I'd like to hire you for a job, I hear you charge 50 bucks a day when you can get it & 60 when you can't ? Well you find me a generous woman, I'll pay you for ten days advance"
With that she opened her bag & took out ten big crispy 50's

Chip"Well you certainly got my interest Mrs Fields but would you mind first telling me what the job curtails ?"
Amber"That's Miss Fields & I'd like you to find my identical twin who I lost 25 years ago, his name is Ulick Fields, here a picture of him taken on our 16th birthday a week before I lost him & here a list of all the places he likes to frequent.

Looking over the list Chip quickly realized it was your normal list of gin-joints, gaming-halls & brothels that any unhappily married man might go to, well is there any other kind of married man ?

Chip" Ok Miss Fields I'll take the case on"
Amber"Thank you so much you don't know what it means to me , he's all I've got in the world & now that I'm paying for your time I won't take up any more of it"

After she'd gone Chip looked at the list again, most of the places had since closed down but there was one that he knew well was still opened, a place so low & seeded that even the cockroaches had moved out, it's a good a place to start as any he thought.
Chip"Tasha grab your hat & coat we're going out"
On the way down the stairs he handed her two of the bills," Here get yourself  something nice" he said.
"Chip you look after me so well can we stop at the drugs store on the way ?" she asked before planting a kiss on the side of his face,"A bit less with plastering me with the lipstick doll" he replied & then added"Yes there's one on the way over to the bookies, I've a tip for a nag running in the 1.45"
Typical thought Tasha all your every interested in is women with four legs, but the thought of getting Vodka & Cigars keep her spirits up.
Two blocks down Chip noticed they where been tailed, the tail was good in an none descriptive vehicle that blended in with the mid-morning traffic but Chip wasn't one of the worlds greatest P.I.'s for no reason.
After a quick stop at the Drugs store & the Bookies then came to the place, it was down on West 34th street in an area so rough & rundown that the dogs roamed in packs in fear of been eaten by the rats, by the time they got there the rain had stopped & Tasha had already smoked two cigars & downed a bottle of Vodka."Wait here in the car, while I go inside" he said taking a look in the rear view mirror, yep the tail was still with them.

Stepping out of the bright sunlight into the dimly lit place Chip waited just inside the door for his eye's to adjust, up on the stage was a dame doing a poll dance, walking over to the bar Chip call one of the bartenders over, he pulled the picture & a ten spot from his pocket.
Chip"I was wondering if you know this guy & has he been in here lately, he called Ulick Fields"
The bartender looked at the picture"
Yep I know that kid, he comes in here most Tuesdays but calls himself Burt Day" he said before whipping the ten out of Chip's hand before he could put it back in his pocket, dam that bartender was fast thought Chip watching the ten disappear into the man's pocket.
Stepping out the door into the ally,
 the first thing Chip noticed was a sharp pain in his big toe & just before blacking out he hear a voice say"Don't look for those that don't wish to be found Mr Spud"
"Chip, Chip are you ok ?" a voice calling brought him back a round & opening his eye's through a haze of smoke he saw Tasha looking down at him.
Chip"How long was I out for ?"
Tasha" A couple of hours, after I'd finished the 3rd bottle of Vodka I decided to come looking for you    "
Chip" Well don't just stand there smoking help me up my big toe is giving me hell"

Back at his office the first thing Chip did was to call the track to get the result of the 1.45 it was now 3.10 & it turned out his horse was still running, so much for that tip though Chip putting the phone down, there was nothing more he could do until tomorrow which was Tuesday when he head back down the Slags Heap & try to see Ulick.

About 7 Tuesday evening Chip walk into the Slags Heap dressed as a woman, it wasn't that he was in disguise or anything like that, it was just that he liked to wear Tasha clothes especially her lacy underwear & stocking.
He noticed Ulick sitting by himself at a table (he hadn't changed a bit since the picture been taken) & headed over to him.
Chip"Ulick Fields I'm Chip Spud P.I. I've been hired by your Sister to find you"
Ulick"I know who you are & want you want Mr Spud your not the first of your kind she's sent looking for me,oh no there's been many before you Philip Marlowe, Sam Spade, Jim Rockford, & even some Brits that guy Holmes & his sidekick Watson, Randell & Hopkirk( deceased) to name but a few, but you are the first to find me so I'm impressed.
Chip" She never told me about the others, but like you said I've found you"
Ulick"Well I guess it was going to happen sooner or later but you can tell her from me to leave me alone, she didn't lose me 25 years ago I ran off, you've no idea what it was like grown up with such a ugly looking identical twin have ? no nobody could, we couldn't go out to play with the other children no the only place we could go & play was the graveyard, so I decided on our sixteen birthday that I'd had enough, a few days later when we where playing in the graveyard she said lets play hide & seek & that's when I took my chance, she didn't lose me I ran away & we've been playing hide & seek ever since"
Chip"I see but she hired me to find you & I've got to tell her I have & where, but having seen her I do sympathize with you, she without doubt the most ugly woman I've ever seen"

Next day Chip phoned Miss Fields, voice "Hello"
Chip" Is that Miss Amber Fields ? it is, this is Chip Spud Miss Fields I'm ring to tell you that I've found Ulick down in the Slags Head bar last night, but he said to tell you didn't lose him he ran away & to leave him alone"
Amber" You have why that's wonderful news Chip I can't tell you how happy I am & you done it so quickly, fancy silly old Ulick making up a story like that to try cover up for me losing him"
Chip"Thank you Miss Fields, you did pay me for ten days at 50 bucks a day in advance & it only took me two so I'll have to refund some of your money"
Amber" Not at all Chip you've done a wonderful job so hang on to it, goodbye"
Chip"Thank you Miss fields that's very kind of you, goodbye"
Hanging up the phone Chip let out a sigh of relief, he'd given Tasha 100 bucks for Vodka & Cigars & put the rest on that pony, it was a good thing she didn't want the refund he thought.
So ended the case of the lost twin.
Cut
Designers note, This post is done a bit differently from most as there was no game played out, all I done was come up with the script & then set up a few things & take pictures nice & simple, I sometimes think all that dice rolling is so over rate :)
When I done the Murder by Death the remake these where two of the characters that was in it & tbh were the two I liked the best, so I thought why not do something else staring the pair of them.
The idea of the script just came to me out of nowhere & it just seem to writhe it's self tbh if only they all worked out so easily, hopefully we'll see more of these guys, but if you've enjoyed the movie & haven't yet seen Murder by Death the remake it's still showing at the picture house below :)
http://ifitwasntforone.blogspot.ie/2018/02/murder-by-death-remake.html

That's a rap, as always my thanks for dropping in & if you'd care to be a movie critic & leave a comment it would be welcomed :)   

10 comments:

  1. Ok, I don't get why I was so intrigued by all this, but I was.

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    1. Thanks Joe, I guess intriguing is one way of putting it :)

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  2. Hi Frank, another good story with an enjoyable sense of humour running through it.
    I think if you hadn't told us it was a script and not a game we would have been asking you what rules you used to get such an interesting game.
    I enjoyed the read all the way through.
    Cheers

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  3. Thanks John, I always like to let people know what's going on & lets be honest would anyone want the rules for a game that would create something like this ? don't answer that or people might lose all respect for you :0)

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  4. What's not to like? It might not have been a game, but it was an interesting (and amusing!) enough tale - and it certainly COULD provide a backstory for a game :-)
    Plenty of eye candy on display with the characters, sets and props, so yep I enjoyed it, and now I'm off to catch up on "Murder by Death" :-)

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    1. Thanks WA, I find these type of things can be a nice turn of pace, write something up grab a few models, sets & props & away you go, no need for keeping notes & you only take the pictures your going to use.

      Enjoy Murder by Death :)

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  5. Great stuff Frank! Love these fun stories - I want to see a really brilliant companion book of all your stories one day :)

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  6. Thanks Ivor & welcome back to the blog world, I give you full permission to compile them all together mate :)

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  7. Ha! I laughed; I cried (at the loss of the betting money). But seriously, it was a fun little romp, as they say, and I enjoyed the touches of humor.

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  8. Thanks Fitz, those dam bookie's taking away a man's hard earned bucks :) glad you got a giggle mate.

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